She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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