I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
