i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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