We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
