ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
