I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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