I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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