Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
