Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
