you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
