i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
tell me about the fingering
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