Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
