I need help removing her.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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