so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
