Rock
Scissors
Fuck
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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