I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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