i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
