the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
