I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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