Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
