worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
