Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
