Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
