I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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