$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
