i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
