we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
