He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
