he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
