hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
