Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
