This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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