I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my poor anus
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
