that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
