Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize