doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
