if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
