ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize