I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
