So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
