her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
