Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize