You're earring is so big in my mouth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
