I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
