all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
