Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
