Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
