Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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