If that was your dad, he is hot
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
