i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
