You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
