I hate all girls vehemently.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
