I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
