I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
