No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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