Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
no, he came in my armpit
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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