He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
