I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
