He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
