The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize