I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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