I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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