Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
