I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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