New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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