In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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