Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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