If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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